Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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