I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
