We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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