I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
