I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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