Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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