took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
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