talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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