Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
