If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
