you guys were way drunker than both of me
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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