my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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