I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
