My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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