Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
