What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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