Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
