You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
