Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
