I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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