Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm eating all of the evidence.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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