I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
