great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
