there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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