So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
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Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
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I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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