but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
