He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
