wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
