My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
