This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
