I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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