I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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