She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
