Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
