She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
