Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
