Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
