dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
