everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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