come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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