Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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