Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
