do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
