I'm gonna have a badass scar
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
