I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
