Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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