is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits