why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Send help, water and tortillas.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.