Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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