OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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