it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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