You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
