I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
