he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
True strength comes from lack of pants
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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