I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
