In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
whose parrot is this?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
