And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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