I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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