I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
