I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
